What One Redditor’s Story Teaches Us About Romance Scams

In today’s world of digital love stories, long-distance relationships are as common as memes about bad Wi-Fi. But let’s be real—not all long-distance relationships are built the same. Some could make for a Hollywood rom-com, while others have “scam” written all over them in big, flashing lights.

Take this wild Reddit post, for example: a 24-year-old guy from the Midwest is in a “relationship” with a 26-year-old woman from a less affluent country. She’s supposedly wealthy and already mapping out their future—she dreams of being a stay-at-home mom while he plays the role of “provider.” They’ve never met in person. Oh, and her family, who reportedly rakes in $1 million a year, is somehow both distant and super judgy about his ability to support their lifestyle. If this doesn’t sound like the plot of a scammer’s handbook, what does?

My girlfriend (26F) and I (24M) have been dating for about 7 months, long distance (never met irl). A few months in, I learned her family is extremely wealthy (around $1M/year, generational wealth). She’s from a poor country where her money goes very far, while I’m a middle-class guy from the Midwest.

She’s from a culture where men are expected to be providers. She wants to be a stay-at-home mom and talks about our future together, despite knowing I make much less. When I ask if she’d resent me for not providing the same lifestyle her parents do, she says things like “I don’t know” and “let’s see.” She’s mentioned “I believe in you” before.

Her family wants to ensure she’ll be taken care of, which I understand. Though realistically, she’ll never want for anything financially in her life.

Money is far down my list of relationship priorities – I’d love her rich or poor. Has anyone experienced something similar? Looking for advice on making this wealth disparity work.

The Red Flags Waving in Neon

1. They’ve Never Met in Real Life – Seven months in and still no in-person meeting? That’s a red flag the size of Texas. FaceTime and photos don’t prove anything in the world of professional scammers who can easily curate fake identities.

2. The “Wealthy But Needs You to Provide” Paradox – If she’s genuinely from a wealthy family, why the heavy emphasis on you proving yourself as a provider? If her family is so rich, why hasn’t she flown to meet you? Wealthy people don’t do long-distance relationships without meeting quickly—they have the means to bridge the gap.

3. Vague Answers to Serious Questions – When asked if she’d resent him for not providing the same lifestyle, her answers—“I don’t know” and “let’s see”—are as non-committal as they are alarming. Relationships thrive on clarity, not cryptic responses that leave you questioning your worth.

4. Cultural Justifications That Feel Off – Dowries and bride prices may be culturally significant in some places, but scammers often exploit these practices to legitimize financial demands. One user warned, “They’ll drain you dry under the guise of impressing the family.”

5. “Rich people don’t look for poor online boyfriends.” – It might sound harsh, but it’s true. It’s highly unusual for someone from generational wealth to actively pursue a long-distance relationship with someone they’ve never met, especially if there’s a significant difference in social or financial standing. This kind of situation often warrants a closer look at underlying motives.

6. The Long Con Playbook – Several Redditors highlighted how this scenario fits the textbook “pig butchering” scam. These cons involve scammers investing months—or even years—into building trust and affection, only to exploit it for financial gain. The script often includes introducing a “can’t-miss investment opportunity” or inventing an emergency requiring urgent funds.

All the Hallmarks of a Pig Butchering Scam

The situation described has many characteristics that align with a pig butchering scam—a type of fraud where scammers take their time “fattening up” a target emotionally and mentally before extracting significant financial gains. It starts with patience. These scammers don’t rush; they spend weeks or even months building trust and fostering emotional intimacy. Seven months of long-distance communication without meeting in person is exactly the kind of groundwork they lay to make you feel deeply invested in the relationship before making a move.

The inclusion of a wealth narrative is another classic hallmark. By claiming to come from extreme generational wealth, the scammer disarms you. The story of riches lends legitimacy to their persona, making it harder for you to question their intentions. But in these scams, the wealth is always conveniently inaccessible—whether tied up in investments, trusts, or cultural expectations—setting the stage for a future financial ask.

Another element of concern is the subtle yet significant pressure to “prove yourself.” By introducing cultural expectations, such as the notion that men must be providers, the scammer creates a dynamic where you feel the need to demonstrate your value. It’s less about love and more about setting you up for a financial request down the line, framed as a natural extension of the relationship or your commitment.

Everything about this situation is building toward a moment where you’ll be asked to contribute financially, either through an “investment opportunity” tied to the family’s wealth or to resolve an “emergency” that only you can help with. These requests often come across as logical and urgent, making it easy to overlook the red flags in the moment. The longer this goes on, the deeper your emotional and mental investment becomes, which is exactly what scammers count on to get you to say yes.

Ultimately, in pig butchering scams, the scammer controls the timeline. They decide when the trust they’ve carefully cultivated is strong enough to leverage, and by the time they make their ask, it’s often too late for victims to walk away without feeling a deep sense of loss. If this story sounds familiar, it’s worth stepping back and reevaluating the relationship with a critical eye.