If your single parent has been looking for love online, it’s easy to be happy for them. Maybe they’re finally putting themselves out there after years of being alone, and that’s exciting. But there’s a darker side to online dating that too many people don’t see coming—romance scams.
It might be hard to imagine your mom or dad falling for an online con artist, but romance scams are incredibly common and devastating. In fact, these scams are so prevalent that in 2023 alone, Americans reported losing a staggering $1.3 billion to romance scams, according to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC). And guess what? Older adults, especially those who are widowed, divorced, or living alone, are often prime targets.
So, how can you protect your lonely single parent from becoming a victim of these heartless schemes? Let’s dive in.
What Exactly is a Romance Scam?
A romance scam is when someone pretends to be romantically interested in another person in order to manipulate them into sending money, personal information, or both. These scammers often create fake profiles on social media or dating sites, pretending to be someone they’re not—using stolen photos, fabricated stories, and even fake professions to build trust.
They start by showering your parent with affection and attention, and then, just when things seem to be getting serious, they ask for help. It might be money for an emergency, help with travel expenses to come visit, or even financial assistance for some fabricated business problem. These con artists are master manipulators, and they play on the emotions of their victims—making them feel guilty, worried, or even hopeful.
Why Are Romance Scams So Prevalent?
There’s a reason why romance scams are booming—and it’s not just because people are looking for love. Scammers have gotten really good at exploiting loneliness. If your parent has been living alone, is feeling isolated, or is simply craving connection, they’re more vulnerable to someone coming into their life and offering the love and companionship they’ve been missing.
And the internet has made it easy for scammers to target people. Dating apps, social media platforms, and even chat rooms have become the playground for these scammers. They use technology to cast a wide net, reaching out to multiple victims at once, all while hiding behind a screen. The anonymity of online interactions makes it easier for them to fool people into believing they’re real.
But here’s the kicker: they don’t just ask for money outright. They build a relationship over weeks or even months, gaining trust before they make their move. That’s why it can be so hard for victims—especially older adults—to see the scam for what it is. It feels real to them, even if it’s all based on lies.
How to Spot the Warning Signs
So, how can you tell if your parent is falling victim to a romance scam? There are a few red flags you can look out for:
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They’re Head Over Heels for Someone They’ve Never Met in Person
If your parent is talking about a new love interest they’ve only ever communicated with online or through text, that’s a big warning sign. Scammers often avoid in-person meetings by coming up with excuses—such as being stationed overseas for military service, working on a secret mission, or being stuck in another country. -
They’re Being Asked for Money
This is the biggest red flag. If your parent mentions that their new love is asking for financial help—whether it’s to cover medical bills, travel expenses, or anything else—it’s time to step in. Scammers are good at creating a sense of urgency or guilt to push victims into sending money. -
Their New Partner Seems ‘Too Good to Be True’
Scammers often pose as wealthy, successful, and good-looking individuals to create the perfect fantasy. If the person your parent is talking to seems unrealistically perfect, it might be time to question their authenticity. -
They’re Secretive About the Relationship
If your parent is being unusually secretive about their new relationship, that’s a red flag. Scammers often convince their victims to keep the relationship private, claiming they want to keep things ‘special’ or ‘just between us’—but this is often a tactic to isolate the victim from family and friends who might see through the scam. -
The Relationship Moves Too Fast
Scammers don’t waste time—they’ll often profess their love early on and push for a serious commitment quickly. If your parent is telling you about someone they’ve only been talking to for a short time but who is already talking about marriage, future plans, or financial investments, it’s a sign to be cautious.
How to Protect Your Parent from a Romance Scam
Now that you know the warning signs, it’s time to take proactive steps to protect your parent. Here’s what you can do:
1. Have an Open Conversation
It might be uncomfortable, but it’s important to have a heart-to-heart with your parent about the dangers of online romance scams. Start by showing empathy and understanding. You don’t want to come off as judgmental or accusatory, but rather concerned and supportive. You could say something like:
“I know it’s exciting to meet someone new, but I’ve been reading about romance scams, and they’re happening more often these days, especially to people looking for love online. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”
2. Ask Questions About the Relationship
Ask questions like, “Have you met this person in real life?” or “How long have you been talking to them?” If they’ve never met their online partner in person, suggest arranging a video call to verify their identity. Scammers often refuse video calls or will make excuses about why they can’t meet in person.
3. Warn Them About Sending Money
Make it clear that no legitimate partner would ever ask for money—especially without meeting in person. Explain that scammers often create emotional or financial crises to manipulate people into sending money. Let your parent know it’s okay to say no, and they should always talk to you before giving anyone financial help online.
4. Help Them Verify Their Online Partner
Offer to help your parent do a little online investigation. You can reverse image search the person’s photos (scammers often steal pictures from the internet) or look up any details they’ve shared to see if they check out. You could also suggest reporting suspicious profiles to the dating platform or social media site.
5. Encourage Them to Take It Slow
Remind your parent that real relationships take time. If things are moving too fast—if their new partner is already talking about love, marriage, or money after just a few weeks—it’s a red flag. Encourage your parent to slow down and take the time to really get to know the person before making any major commitments.
The Bottom Line
Romance scams are devastating, both emotionally and financially. And while it’s painful to imagine your parent being targeted, taking action now can save them from heartbreak and loss down the line. Have the conversation, ask the tough questions, and help them protect themselves. Because at the end of the day, keeping them safe is what matters most.
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