Let’s set the scene: Your parent’s phone keeps buzzing. They’re suddenly giddy, texting late at night, maybe dropping names like “George Clooney,” “Keanu Reeves,” or a slightly misspelled K-pop star. And now, you’re hearing phrases like, “He just needs a little help—he’s so down-to-earth!” or “I can’t believe she chose me out of all her fans.”
If this sounds familiar, congratulations—you’re living in the golden age of online impersonation scams, where professional fraudsters don the digital mask of celebrities or “special friends,” and try to siphon money from the unsuspecting. And the worst part? It’s not just random strangers—sometimes, it’s your own family that falls for it.
First: Don’t Start With “You’re Being Scammed”
If you only remember one thing, let it be this: Don’t lead with confrontation. Charging in with “Mom, you’re getting scammed!” or “Dad, that’s not actually Taylor Swift” will almost always backfire. You’ll likely get stonewalled, or worse—pushed out completely. No one likes to feel stupid, especially not by their own kid.
Instead, get curious. Ask questions:
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How did you meet?
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What’s this person like?
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Have you talked on the phone or over video?
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What have they asked for?
Gently guide the conversation. The goal is to open a door, not slam it shut.
Second: Unpack the Playbook Together
Impersonation scammers are pros at exploiting emotion—loneliness, excitement, a hunger for connection, or just plain boredom. Don’t attack your parent’s character or intelligence. Instead, help them “reverse-engineer” what’s happening.
Try questions like:
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How did they first reach out? (Celebrities never cold-message fans. Ever.)
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Have they asked for money, gift cards, or private info? (Universal red flag.)
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Why do they always have an excuse for not video chatting or calling?
Suggest Googling their experience together: “George Clooney scam,” “celebrity impersonator scam,” “romance scam stories.” Seeing thousands of identical stories might help reality sink in.
Third: Watch for Escalation—When the Money Starts Moving
It might start innocently—small favors, Amazon cards, “urgent” requests. But often, things escalate. Suddenly, your parent is wiring thousands, or draining savings. If you notice large sums moving, you need to act fast:
1. Get Practical, Not Emotional: Ask to look over recent transactions together, as a “second set of eyes.”
2. Call the Bank—Immediately: Banks sometimes can reverse or freeze recent transfers. The sooner you call, the better your odds.
3. Lock Down Accounts: Change passwords, set up two-factor authentication, and freeze credit if any sensitive info has leaked.
4. Report the Scam:
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To the bank or wire service
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To the FTC (reportfraud.ftc.gov)
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To the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (ic3.gov)
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To the police (for a report; banks often require one)
Keep evidence: screenshots, texts, receipts.
Fourth: If They Cling to the Fantasy
Here’s where things get tough. Sometimes, even when faced with overwhelming evidence, your parent still wants to believe. Maybe they get angry, defensive, or double down on the relationship. This isn’t about gullibility—it’s about hope, and the pain of admitting you’ve been duped.
What helps:
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Stay Present, Not Pushy: Don’t cut them off. Keep inviting conversation, even if it’s hard.
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Bring in Backup: Sometimes another family member, a close friend, or even their pastor or doctor can get through where you can’t.
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Involve the Bank (Carefully): If the losses are huge and ongoing, the bank may be able to intervene, flag accounts, or put a temporary hold on outgoing transfers.
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Report Elder Financial Exploitation: If your parent is older, Adult Protective Services (APS) can help investigate.
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Don’t Shame—Support:Reassure them: smart people get scammed. The con is the enemy—not them.
And, maybe most importantly, be patient. Sometimes, the illusion won’t break until the scammer vanishes, or the “asks” get so wild even the most starry-eyed parent has to stop and think.
Fifth: Take Care of Yourself, Too
Dealing with this is exhausting. If you’re losing sleep, fighting with siblings, or just want to throw your phone in the ocean—welcome to the club. Talk to others, find support, and remember: you’re doing your best. Sometimes all you can do is keep the door open for when they’re ready to walk through it.
Bottom line:
Scams like these thrive on secrecy, shame, and fantasy. The best antidotes are curiosity, open conversation, and practical action. You might not win the first round—but with patience, empathy, and a dash of tough love, you’ll give your parent the best shot at seeing through the illusion before it costs them everything.
And if all else fails, maybe show them this article. Sometimes the truth lands better when it’s coming from a slightly neurotic tech columnist than from their own kid.
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