How to Talk to Older People About Scams

Talking to your parents, grandparents, or any older relatives about scams can feel awkward, maybe even a little uncomfortable. But let’s be real—it’s one of the most important conversations you can have with them. The world is changing fast, and while technology has brought us closer together, it’s also opened the door to some pretty nasty stuff, like scams that target our most vulnerable loved ones.

But here’s the thing: talking about scams doesn’t have to be scary or patronizing. It’s about caring for the people who have cared for you and making sure they’re safe in a world that’s sometimes more confusing than it should be.

Start with Empathy

First things first—acknowledge that it’s not easy to navigate today’s digital world, especially for those who didn’t grow up with smartphones glued to their hands. Imagine being handed a supercomputer and expected to know all the ways it can be used against you. That’s the reality for many older adults.

So, start the conversation with empathy. You could say something like, “I know there’s a lot of new technology out there, and it can be hard to keep up. I’ve been learning about some of the tricks people use to take advantage of others online, and I want to share that with you so we can all be on the same page.”

This isn’t about pointing fingers or making them feel out of touch. It’s about having each other’s backs.

Make It Personal

Sometimes, the best way to get through to someone is to share a personal story. If you know someone who has been scammed or almost fell for one, bring that up. It’s a way to make the danger feel real without being alarmist.

For example, you could say, “A friend of mine recently got a weird phone call that seemed legit, but it turned out to be a scam. It got me thinking about how easy it is to be tricked, even when you’re careful.”

When they see that scams can happen to anyone—young or old—they’re more likely to take the conversation seriously.

Keep It Simple

You don’t need to dive into the deep end of cybersecurity. Keep the conversation straightforward and stick to the basics that can make a huge difference in protecting them from scams. Here are some essential tips to cover:

• Don’t Trust Caller ID: Scammers can easily fake caller ID to make it look like the call is coming from a trusted source, like a bank or government agency. Remind them that if something feels off, they should hang up and call the official number themselves to verify.

• Never Give Out Personal Information or Passcodes Over the Phone or Online: Legitimate companies will never ask for sensitive information like Social Security numbers, credit card details, or passwords over the phone or in an unsolicited email. This includes passcodes sent to their phone or email for account verification. Encourage them to be cautious and to verify requests directly with the company before sharing any information.

• Always Call Back the Official Number: If they receive a call that seems urgent or suspicious, it’s important to hang up and call back using the official number listed on the company’s website or their bank statement. This ensures they’re speaking with the real company and not a scammer pretending to be someone they trust.

• Beware of Urgency and Fear Tactics: Scammers often try to create a sense of urgency or fear to pressure people into making quick decisions without thinking things through. Whether it’s a “limited-time offer” or a threat like “your account will be locked,” let them know it’s okay to pause, take a breath, and verify the situation. Scammers thrive on panic, so staying calm and collected is the best defense.

• If It Sounds Too Good to Be True, It Probably Is: Scams often prey on people’s hopes, whether it’s a surprise lottery win, an unbelievable investment opportunity, or a free vacation. Encourage them to be skeptical of offers that seem overly generous or just too perfect, especially if they didn’t sign up for anything.

• Be Cautious About Clicking Links or Downloading Attachments: Phishing emails and texts often contain links or attachments that, when clicked, can install malware on their device or lead them to a fake website designed to steal their information. It’s safer to type in the website address manually or call the company directly if they’re unsure.

• Verify Unexpected Requests: If they receive an unusual request from a friend, family member, or company—whether it’s through email, text, or phone—it’s wise to verify it through another channel before taking any action. For example, if a “grandchild” calls asking for money, encourage them to call that grandchild’s known number directly or check with other family members first.

• Trust Your Gut: Remind them that if something feels off or too good to be true, it’s okay to say no or hang up. Scammers rely on manipulating emotions and instincts, so it’s important to trust their gut feeling if something doesn’t seem right.

• Encourage Them to Ask for Help: Let them know it’s perfectly okay to ask for help or a second opinion if they’re unsure about something. Whether it’s a phone call, email, or online offer, it’s better to double-check with you or another trusted person than to fall victim to a scam.

By focusing on these basic principles, you can help your parents, grandparents, and older relatives feel more confident in their ability to spot and avoid scams. This conversation isn’t about making them fearful; it’s about empowering them with the knowledge they need to stay safe in a digital world that’s constantly evolving.

Talk About Common Scams

It might be helpful to go over a few specific types of scams that are making the rounds. Here are a few to keep on their radar:

• Lottery Scams:

  • How It Works: Scammers inform the victim that they’ve won a large prize but must pay taxes, fees, or legal costs upfront before they can claim it. The catch? The prize doesn’t exist.
  • Red Flags: Unsolicited calls or emails claiming you’ve won a lottery or sweepstakes you didn’t enter. Requests for upfront payments via wire transfers, gift cards, or cashier’s checks.

• Grandparent Scams:

  • How It Works: The scammer calls an elderly person, pretending to be a grandchild or other relative in distress (like being in jail or needing money for an emergency). They urge the victim to send money immediately, often using a sense of urgency and fear.
  • Red Flags: Receiving a frantic call claiming to be a relative in trouble, especially if they ask for secrecy. Requests for money via wire transfers, gift cards, or courier services.

• Medicare and Health Insurance Scams:

  • How It Works: Scammers pose as Medicare representatives or health insurance agents, asking for personal information such as Social Security numbers, Medicare IDs, or bank details. They may claim to offer free medical devices or services in exchange for this information.
  • Red Flags: Unsolicited calls or visits from someone claiming to be from Medicare or another health provider. Requests for personal or financial information over the phone.

• Romance Scams:

  • How It Works: Scammers create fake profiles on dating websites or social media, pretending to be interested in a romantic relationship. They build a rapport with the victim before inventing a crisis and asking for money.
  • Red Flags: New online relationships that move quickly toward deep emotional connections, especially if the person claims to be overseas or in need of financial help.

• Tech Support Scams:

  • How It Works: The victim receives a call or pop-up message on their computer claiming to be from a well-known tech company (like Microsoft or Apple) warning that their computer is infected with a virus. The scammer offers to fix the problem remotely, but instead, they install malicious software or steal personal information.
  • Red Flags: Unsolicited calls or messages claiming there’s an urgent problem with your computer. Requests for remote access to your computer or payment for tech support services.

• IRS and Tax Scams:

  • How It Works: Scammers impersonate IRS agents, claiming the victim owes back taxes and threatening arrest, deportation, or other severe penalties unless immediate payment is made. They often demand payment via wire transfer, prepaid debit cards, or gift cards.
  • Red Flags: Calls or emails from someone claiming to be from the IRS, especially if they demand immediate payment or threaten legal action. The IRS typically contacts people by mail, not by phone or email.

By naming a few scams, you’re giving them practical knowledge without overwhelming them with too much information.

Reassure Them

Finally, let them know that it’s okay to feel uncertain or even scared about these things. Reassure them that the goal here isn’t to make them paranoid but to help them feel more confident and secure in navigating the digital world.

You might say, “I just want you to feel safe and know what to look out for. You don’t have to handle this on your own—if anything feels off, I’m here to help.”

The goal is to create an open line of communication so they feel comfortable coming to you if they ever need guidance.

Keep the Conversation Going

This isn’t a one-and-done chat. As new scams pop up, keep the dialogue going. Send them a quick text or email if you hear about a new scam making the rounds. The more you talk about it, the more they’ll feel equipped to handle it.

At the end of the day, this is about protecting the people you love from harm. By approaching the conversation with kindness, empathy, and a bit of patience, you can help them stay safe in a world that’s constantly evolving.